UNDERSTANDING THE DIFFERENCE (TEASING/BULLYING/PEER CONFLICT)
Teasing
Adapted from Coloroso, Barbara, The Bully, the Bullied, and the Bystander (2004)
Allows the teaser and teased to swap roles with ease
Is innocent in motive; NOT intended to hurt the other person
Maintains the basic dignity of everyone involved
Pokes fun in a lighthearted, clever and benigh way
Is meant to get both parties to laugh
Is a small part of the activities shared by kids who have something in common
Is discontinued when the teased becomes upset or objects to the teasing
Bullying/Taunting
Adapted from Coloroso, Barbara, The Bully, the Bullied, and the Bystander (2004)
Is based on an imbalance of power and is one-sided
Is sinister in motive – intended to harm
Involves humiliating, cruel, demeaning or bigoted comments thinly disguised as jokes
Includes laughter directed at the target, not with the target
Is meant to diminish the sense of self-worth of the target
Induces fear of further taunting or can be prelude to physical bullying
Continues especially when target becomes distressed or object to the taunting
Bullying
Adapted from the ABC’s of Bullying, http://pathwaysourses.samhsa.gov/bully/bully intro pg1.htm
Characteristics of bullying behavior:
• Intent to harm – bully finds pleasure in trying to dominate
• Intensity and duration – continues over a long period of time and is damaging to the victim’s self-esteem
• Power of the bully – age, strength or size used to overpower the target
Effects on victim
• Vulnerability of the victim – cannot adequately defend
• Lack of support – target feels isolated, fears retaliation
• Long-term consequences – damage to self-esteem is often long lasting
Peer Conflict
Adapted from the ABC’s of Bullying, http://pathwaysourses.samhsa.gov/bully/bully intro pg1.htm
Normal peer conflicts involve the following factors:
• Freedom of expression – Peers do not insist on getting their own way
• Willingness to communicate – Peers give reasons when they disagree
• The relationship is valued – Peers apologize or try to find win-win situations
• Negotiations is an option – Peers will bargain and negotiate to get their need met
• Disengagement is an option. Peers can change the topic or walk away
Elementary counselors are unique positions in our schools that provide
a variety of specialized services to the students and their families.
An elementary school counselor supports each child's personal, social,
and educational development through:
Guidance Lessons- The
counselor visits each classroom to teach lessons. Topics might include
dealing with bullying behavior, identifying basic feelings, I messages,
conflict resolution, personal safety, or getting along with others.
Individual Counseling-
The counselor visits with students about specific concerns, inviting
them to explore choices and arrive a responsible solutions consistent
with personal and family beliefs.
Group Counseling and Social Skills Groups- The
counselor works with groups of students over a limited period of time.
Group counseling provides students with the opportunity to explore
common concerns, gain skills in problem solving, goal setting, and lend
support to each other.
Community Referrals- The counselor has knowledge of many of the community resources available to families and can help in the referral process.
Resources-
The counselor has a professional library which includes books, videos,
and games dealing with a variety of childhood issues. These resources
are available for check out to parents and students.
Counselor's Schedule:
Monday - Lincoln/Jefferson
Tuesday - Jefferson/Lincoln
Wednesdays - Lincoln/Jefferson
Thursday - Jefferson/Lincoln
Friday - Lincoln/Jefferson